Mathematics...a starting point?

This is almost surely the wrong forum for this, and for this I apologize in advance.

I have a simple problem, not a mathematical one but one which relates to mathematics. I used to love Algebra I when I was a kid, I'd do the problems for fun. But I found Algebra II, Geometry, and Trigonometry to be impossible for me. I've since taken various classes in them, but the material never stuck. So I have been avoiding mathematics like the plague for a long time. But recently I have been remembering the me that used to sit in programming classes on Friday nights at the local college, and I want to try and learn a great deal of mathematics simply because it fascinates me. However, I seem unable to learn the concepts...none of the textbooks or resources I have come across ever explain "why" anything is the way it is, and I, being a philosopher, seem unable to understand or at least to retain the concepts without knowing why something is being done.

I suppose it could be my mind simply won't work for learning mathematics, or it could be related to my Huntington's...but I am hoping that is not the case.

If anyone has any resources they could possibly share or any tips, or tricks, I would be most appreciative.

Sorry for the long backstory...but thank you in advance =)

Anyway,

cheers!