Thread: Question from non-math user. > 18 only. Serious question. Suit student?

Hi.

I hope this question doesn't get me kicked off - I mean no offence. It is (I think) a maths question. Maybe 'discrete' isn't the right category but it seemed to fit (in an English language type of way - probably not a math way).

Phew. I'm nervous as hell... Sod it. Here goes...

OFFENSIVE WORDS FOLLOW. Sorry, but I need to use the words to ask the question.

(big space follows so those who don't want to see will not see)


























OK

I'm after a "wanking" algorithm.

This started off when I told my friend I was learning Android programming. We (drunkenly) came up with the idea of a "wanking" game with a cartoon character - the accelerometer being ideal for... ahem. movement. We thought it would look funny watching people play.

My question is... can you come up with the most efficient wank algorithm?

I realise there are so many factors involved.

"Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, quick" - way too basic.

There has to be a math way.

Apologies for any offence - I needed to ask math buffs.

Kind Regards,
Matthew

I think we need to collect some data first...

I'm sure there's folk with experience...

two kinds of liars in this world ... those that say they never have and those that say they quit.

This has to be the funniest topic ever

You could have an "excitation function" F which decays exponentially with respect to time. Every stroke will bring it back up. With the accelerometer you could probably find the kinetic energy supplied to the phone with each...stroke. The value of the function F could go up depending on the energy delivered.

From...data...you can see that there is a threshold above which it becomes all too easy to...obtain a higher value of F. Above this threshold F could drop linearly. You could have a "cum" boundary above which you win or lose. So the idea of the game would be to maintain F above the threshold but below the boundary.

The levels could get...harder...by thinning out the space between the threshold or the boundary, either gradually as you progress or discretely when you level up. Also F could behave more difficultly.

Yea. This topic should win some sort of award!

Thanks Vlasez, that does make sense. The idea would be to not *ahem* for as long as poss. As in real sex. Right, prototype time. I'll be back!

Award for daftest question ever more like!